Quotes! Yay! I have heard them abroad and present them here

It's not fun unless it says "ow"?

I shoot lasers in my eyes and hope they get better, but they're not.

Apparently I'm marked for death by the squirrel mafia.

-You can't draw with a black hole! ~How do you know? Have you done it? -Yeah! It doesn't work! ~Ya got me there.

-How'd you guys feel about that? ~First I was pissed. Then upset.

They could have a fight! "This is what I think of YOU, Alexander Hamilton..."

He is Whitney Man! Battling evil with his Wit...knee...

-I think you should sing it, because you have the voice of an angel. ~I do.

-It was Roshashanna and I forgot. ~That's ok. I missed 'Talk Like a Pirate Day'.

Don't get mad at ME. I'm drunk!

Why isn't it making me all funny feeling?! I'm supposed to be giggling uncontrollably and I'm not!

Is she trying to kill Whitney?

Shot of Godiva? It's Godive-tastic...

-I'm going to party! ~And I'm going to pee!

Is this "Magee Happy Guitar Hour"?

God, I hate...eating... It gets me every time.

-The hot dogs are grown on farms? ~Yeah, free range hot dogs.

Hold on, I'm drawing God.

Can I take the guts out?

-What does Batman want? ~JUSTICE!

I'm a Kirby fanboy. I admit it!

-I have A.D.D. I have to play with something. ~You're going to play with something other than a gun.

Then we started laminating other things... like skittles.

-Well, there goes the element of surprise. *I was surprised! ~It was Russian sneak attack.

I saw this weird doppelganger of you. But it was the past you. I think it was your child, from the future.

-The entire thing on film?! You robbing a bank? ~I already have.

I'm thinking of calling it The "Glass is half-full" Weather Show.

-Did you want cheese on your kitchen sink? ~That's not a phrase you hear every day.

I have monkeys on my socks and penguins on my shoes! I'm a zoo.

-Nice team work! ~At getting girls out of the game-I mean... No, that's what I meant.

-Jeff! ~We were just talking about you! *Were you, now? ~How you were gonna come in holding a motherboard and saying 'Something went wrong'. *Well...

-He created the 40-twerve degree angle! ~In fact, now it's just a symbol!

Where would I get a snacky cake at this hour?!

There's food! There's coffee! There's musical numbers!

During the great Emo self genocide, the music got worse, but oh the art design got better and better.

Zombies! Doors are like walls to them.

-We don't do work anymore. We just wander about... aimlessly...licking the backs of necks- ~Aah!

-I don't eat vegetables. ~You just said that like we've been dating and I should know that. -"But, Honey-"

It's like a slumber... snack...

-It's not my fault! I didn't say I was gonna sublet it!!! ~... Ya get that outta your system?

I can't hear you, you've got earphones on.

-Nobody's gonna like this... It's really long... ~Back to your ladder! -The bells! The bells! * Jeff knows all and sees all from where he sits. -That or I sit very still and rainwater pours out my mouth.

He's one of those "choosing" beggars.

-People come here for a cheese steak and leave. ~There IS the Liberty Bell. -Oh there it is. 'They know it's broken, right? -Where do we get a coffee around here? 'Well there's Starbucks, or Starbucks, or Starbucks..."

-I was thinking about where Philadelphia people go when they graduate... ~Homeless shelter.

-I'm kinda glad. ~Nobody could be that dumb.

-No pun intended. ~None taken.

We're tradigital!

Apparently I'm a walking pillow.

-Mighty Mouse?! ~No storyboards for this one!

The breakfast of idiots.

-I like parts of different styles. ~I like parts of different songs.

-Hey. You picked the last song. ~Well, you pick the shut the hell up! -...ok

Ah, Megadeth. The one slightly above regular death.

Never trust anyone from Delaware.

I probably shouldn't make fun of you today. Cause you gave me chips. I respect you now. But not alot.

Did you say "gumazing?"

You're like a turtle! If we flipped you on your back, would you struggle?

I'm not even going to talk to you. You are the most dangerous person to talk to.

-Does anyone have a hat or something we can toss this in? ~Daaaan......

-So when Winwood left, the Spencer Davis Group wasn't the Spencer Davis Group. ~Uh, what did Spencer Davis do?

Fair warning- the only things uglier than their backup vocals are their faces.

Where'd the bearded sophomore go? He was so freshfaced and fuzzy!

-Hey, Jeff! That's a nice jacket. ~Hey, Jeff, I'm gonna steal that jacket. -It looks like something the Rocketteer would wear! * So maybe I'm a Rocketteer. ~No, but really, it's a nice jacket. *That was a good movie. That movie was.. -I expected him to be ridin' around with the rocket pack more. But he did that for like.. ~Ten minutes.

-I know Christie seems pretty focused.... ~Like a laser.

Push ups.... Chinese person? Oh, massage! Pincushin? Pin therapy! What is that CALLED?!?!

-"Felix minds the kid"! ~Does it have child abuse? -Here's hopin'!

I didn't know there was such a lucrative trade in fence building.

I know he's the goblin king, but he's gotta be part vampire. The older that man gets, the younger he becomes!

This is a class of awesomeness!

-Where did rock and roll come from? ~Satan? *The Blues. -Yes, Satan and the Blues is a good start.

Did I ever tell you about our idea for the Neopets money laundering service?

-What are you adjusting, exactly? ~It's my nonexistant tie!

Oh, those aborigines, always spinning.

The first time I met him, he was totally wasted and kept calling me Jill.

Deneen, show yourself! You are needed!

Today's milder than Clark Kents manner.

Manda- I'm not really into guns like them.
Me- But... but... firearms!
Fred- Thank you!

You should make this 30 minutes long and call it "Overpass II".

Stupid computer. All I want is a man on fire getting poisoned!

(Re: character standing very straight) -There's a reason for that. I videotaped Jeff doing this and he has excellent posture at all times. ~I'm sorry. -So this is incredibly accurate.

-It's the Subway that's run... not just by the mafia. This is the mafia backed by Nazis.

-What is chai? I've heard of it, but what is it? ~It tastes like...Christmas.

-I'll be frank with you. ~Ok, but only if I can be Mike.

Me: yar and yo ho, me hearty. it be talk like a pirate day. don't be tellin me ye didn't know, or it's the plank for ye!
Alyssa: Avast! U be blubberin! Give me a shilling or youll be swimmin with ol bootstrap Bill!!
Me: blast me scuppers! tis ol' blackbeard, by the stars!
Alyssa: Aye, and if it isnt capn Jack Sparrow... me thought u were put under seas years ago
Me: ye forgot one thing. That bein', I am in fact Captain Jack Sparrow. There's no gettin' rid of me. i be like a bad penny, savvy?
Alyssa: no, ye be like a pain in my wooden leg!
Me: another one like that thar, and i'll be siccin' the termites on ye!
Alyssa: oo good, i been itchin to git rid of them buggers!
Me: aye. pests they be, and no mistakin' it.
Alyssa: me gots the vermin too. they live in my black beard
Me: blast. ye could shave, ye ken. o carse, then we couldn't be callin' ye black beard.
Alyssa: aye, the irony

-Do you have a relative named Scott? ~No. -That sounded almost like you do, but you've disowned him. *"I have no cousin named Scott."

-What are we going to eat? ~We should vandalize something. -That's one option... *It doesn't involve food so much... -We could vandalize a restaurant.

-There's a little stickfigure riding a bike... ~They do that ALL the TIME now. And they go against traffic and it pisses. me. off.

-How art thou this fine day? ~Thou art ... hanging in there.

-That's gonna mess up the whole tack line. ~That's right. For I am spiteful.

-We don't know math! ~That's why phone numbers never work. * Me, I just run down the street shouting at the top of my lungs.

-We had a discussion about it. ~It was a drunken discussion.. -I wasn't drunk.

Maybe he's downstairs, waiting for an elevator that will never come...

Don't just sit there sulking! Get out notebook, and it'll be okay!

-Feedback? ~Feedback-o-riffic.

My brother is also going to art school and learning 3-d and I need to be BETTER than him FIRST.

I can still wear white AND attend class? What's up with that?!

(Filming) -It's a good thing I'm not getting paid for this. ~You'd be fired by now.

Emma's alphabet: M is for Mickey. M is for Mickey. M is for Mickey...

-I don't know how to match clothes. ~That's alright. WE don't know how to match PITCH.

-Next time, no plates for you! ~Let's see you keep syrup in WICKER!

-What is it with girls and self checkouts? ~What do you mean, "girls"? -Well, my friend Jessica is extremely amused by them. *She's amused by CAT TOYS. -True.

-Most donuts will give you a heart attack. ~I like donuts. -So do I.

Look! It's a French pigeon! It says "le coooo".

5 morning? 5 MORNING?!

-It was all dressy clothes. ~Prissy clothes? -No, dressy. ~Oh, it sounded like prissy. -I would WANT prissy. ~Do, d'you want to go to the Gap or something? *That would be preppy. ~And we want prissy, not preppy. -I've got enough preppy.

Americans need food too!

You wouldn't understand. It's German.

I can see clearly now. The camera's on.

This column is very comfortable. I think we shall become fast friends, he and I.

-Apparently that's me as a dog. ~That's you fightin'....Bill Plympton! -I'm takin' him DOWN! LOOK at me! *Yeah, go Justin!

-It's gonna start pouring in like 4 seconds. ~It could be worse. It could be raining harder.

I"m like a cow. If there's salad, I'll graze.

(Alexandre sneaks over to the model planes) I will make the sabatoge.

-Two Chalupas and a hard shell. ~Turtle Power!

-What's an Eiffel? ~Your mom. -You're such an Eiffel.~I'm feelin' a little Eiffelly. -You've been kinda Eiffelly lately.

Moseying around the Louvre. That's what we're doing.

Phenominal cosmic drawing powers! Itty bitty storyboards.

Que vois-je?! Que vois-je?!

-The strange salad is very good. ~It's a hit, Chris!

(castles) -That's why they didn't have cell phones in the middle ages. ~Yes. That's the reason. "I can't get a signal." *That's what started the crusades.

Vous parle anglais! Mentanont!

We have pictures all across Europe of Ed sleeping.

-That was great. You were trying to capitalize on her mistake and he capitilized on yours! ~Mine wasn't a mistake! You're just idiots!

-They're the fun police. ~We did all stop laughing. Like ___.....

We're retarded by half an hour!

-Wait, who's got boots on? ~I do. -Say it. ~These boots were made for walking. -And THAT'S just what they'll do!

-In case you hadn't noticed, today's theme is "give Lizzie stuff". ~I love today's theme!

Widdershins!

IS there a Paris "Hilton"? Cause I would laugh.

7 am? I was only supposed to sleep for 45 minutes!

-Are you telling me to try harder? ~Yes. -Well, I'm not going to.

I heard that! I'm gonna disown you as my sidekick!

(Animator contingency plans) If none of this works, one of you will break into this apartment and destroy everything.

[Constructing a stop motion set sometimes just sounds wrong]Hey guys(hehe).. can we(hehe)... buy some of your grass?(hehehe)

-The floor is not a trashbag. ~Sure it is.

-Where's the restroom? ~Well, it's...uh, through the conflict and down the hall. It says Men, I'm pretty sure.

My car is powered by guitar!

~Every culture has fried dough. Just not all of them have triple glazes. -That's profound. ~Yeah. It IS profound.

I know too many people with names!

You should be able to eat jazz. Like...mmmm, jazz burger.

Andy is afraid of traffic now.

That sounds too good to be good.

-Quick! Let's watch it on our big screen! ~You mean Tom's big screen. -What's Tom's is ours, besides, Tom's hardly uses it.

I'm really into Slobobian death metal.

It's the biggest button mashing fest I've ever witnessed!

Hmm. He must have just brushed his teeth. ...with booze.

(Pat on Ikea) I thought it was gonna be cheap junk, but I walked in there and I felt like the Queen of England! ~The...queen? -Let me get that for ya, your Majesty.

People come up to me like crack addicts..."I, uh...I hear you've got photoshop..."

~You killed off the Incas! -I didn't mean to! ~Sure... it wasn't your fault. You just had a cold.

She charges people a dollar to go to the bathroom at Jurassic Park!

There's mints everywhere. Are they trying to say we have bad breath?

Noone's useless. You can always be a bad example.

We don't need your DVD commentary. Save it for the discussion.

I just want to throw everything out the window! All this! The dishes, the chair, that stool you're sitting on!...hopefully you'll jump off before I do...

-He was the X-Men's Kenny. ~ Oh my God, they killed Morph!

I don't want to listen to some guy who collects nik-naks to come up with some theory on a Sunday night.

You can only watch my dvd if you reach level 10!

Not that I have anything against snowflakes. I like them in big masses, you know, communist snowflakes.

(Jeff scores Zero) It's not a bad score... -Sure, it's a nice round number.. ancient cultures worshipped it..

Puppies cause WAR!

~Tom could easily be the coolest guy on this floor. If he was AROUND on the weekends! -That'll change next semester! ~Suuure....But THIS semester, I am the king. *Until I kill you, and take your powers when I cut off your head!

Equilibrium: Better than The Matrix!

It's like a world without Andy. -That would be horrible!

Let's play frogger!

Ok, so Friday at 1:00. Wear your stalker clothes.

I am his evil robot twin. Mainstream comics do not compute. I have a robotic evil goatee to differentiate me.

If it's not good, I'm gonna get you back. I'm gonna write a comic book about beatin' a guy up with a comic book.

Why? Oh, why, Oliver?! Why Batman's butler? Jarvis don't get that kind of flack in the Avengers!

Watch out! Scott's got a double ended lightsaber. He's comin' your way!

Why? Why is the bearded man evil?!

-He has no heat. ~Ahhahahahaha! -Did I call it? *You called it. Yes, you did.

-I have too much stuff. ... I have way too much stuff. ~So, would you say you have too much stuff? -Yes, I think I have too much stuff.

I love the snow! Do you love the snow?

(animators discuss paper thickness(thick is bad)) -I used sketchbook paper this whole semester. ~I used bristol. *I used mat board... -Yeah? Well, I used cinderblocks!

Oh my God, it's past red hot, it's blue hot! Oh, it's gone plaid!

I'm going to bring chisel-mation to the main stream.

He stole our idea before we even thought of it! He's good.

(guitar playing)I'm useless without a pick. Useless with one too...

You can't resist the cookie!

(About Taylor's character) She looks really tailored...unintended.

-I now associate whistling with serial killers. ~He whistles 'raindrops are falling on my head'. *He's a serial killer. -Yep.

(re: going home) Sweet, lush, green Richmond. With it's trees, and grass, and air....and my car...

(the eclipse) -Where is it? ~ Come back! *There it is! -The moon obeys Tom? ~Darn right it does!

Where ever the wind blows, that's where I animate.

Nuclear explosion!

Yeah, the next thing is...next.

No! That's the OPPOSITE of fair! It's..it's...what's the word I'm going for?

I have the intellegence of a house cat,why are you listening to me? Oooo, STRING!

You just got beat up by a guy in a pink cape. Pansy!

~Well, I think...-No, Jimmy. ~Jimmy? -Yes, Jimmy. ~Jimmy?? -Yes, Jimmy. ~I don't look like a Jimmy. -That's why I'm calling you Jimmy.

You know how you see those manequins in H+M and they look cool but you wonder "who would WEAR all that?" Thad would.

Look at my wonderful legs! Leggity Leggity leg! All the world's fruit punch WILL BE MINE!

~Two hours of Finn! -That's more Finn than you can shake a stick at!

-Wow, you're awesome. You can read. ~Thanks, I learned it in kindergarten. *You learned to read in kindergarten? I learned in like the 3rd grade. Yea, Philly!

-I'm not a drinker of spirits! ~ Only a killer of them.

Fool! Your lack of ravioli no longer impresses me!

-Stop blaming me for your incompetency. ~Incompetency? Incompetency?! -Shut up. It's a word.

~Is everyone against me?! -Yes.

You are responsible for leaving the trail of gumdrops to the sweet gingerbread house that is your sources.

Elevator: Let's test the weight limit!

I'm hiding in my shirt now! You can't see me. I'm hiding!

Narrative Cinema Theater Presents: Nosferatu

Can we go any faster?

I borrowed my hat from Robin Hood.

And then Jughead says "He's a vampire!"

~They're building a new Starbucks across the street. 13 stories of coffee. -Go get me a mocha. With cinnamon. Cinnamon!

Audio?! Are you mad?!

I want to get paid for spinning the revolving door!

-You look like you ran into the woods and were attacked by many wolves.~Weilding ballpoint pens!

Woah. That crosses the line of roommate...ness...

Your turkey gobbled.

(Sunchips raise interesting questions.)How do you harvest cheddar?! You can harvest corn, but you can't harvest cheddar.

Sometimes discussions break out, despite my best efforts to thwart them.

(Repeated line in film class) Let me guess: he's making copies.

(Also repeated in film class) And.... "Thirteenth Floor"!

-He went shopping? ~He needed some new shirts. -He went SHOPPING? *I needed some new shirts, alright?!

Synchronized "ooo-age"!

-Floor meeting! ~Well, it's definitely on the floor.

Get down here! The cable won't reach! My mom is flipping out!

I'm just so tired. I want to go to slap.

-You call Becky. ~This is your project. -Well, she's your Becky. ~She could be your Becky too.

(at the comic store) Thor doesn't have his hammer anymore. ...Yes, I talk to the pictures.

It's not sharp. I tried to cut myself with it.

(never ever heard this so many times before) Can I take your picture?

End of the line! Pretty much no chance you're getting in! End of the line is here!

(Technical difficulties at anime screening) "The system is down..."

It smells like arsenic...with a hint of lemon.

Fun with choreography:

I thought you were kidding on half the dance!

Just because I say something's good doesn't mean "everyone do it."

Shlink on shtage.

Wait a minute! Don't move your arms! I'm... I'm allergic to moving arms.

You've gotta love him. But why?

Well, it can't be Spain!

"My nephew went to Germany and all I got was this lousey t-shirt".

First I saw the Indian kid. Then I saw the hair, and then I saw the tall doofy kid and I knew it must be FigJam.

-I kissed a drunk girl. ~You kissed a drunk girl? -Yes I did. ~ Kissed a drunk girl on the lips? - I let my guard down. ~ How could you have been so dumb? -Her eyes were open, I know I am not the one.

(fun with lyrics!) Careful the things you eat, they might be poisoned.... careful the things you drink, they might be too...

-See you... next time I see you. ~I wouldn't have it any sooner.

Yeah! I Succeeded! High five!

Stick THAT in your website and smoke it!

I don't feel pain. (arm twist) Apparently I DO.

(our city of heroes character gains an origin.) Just make sure she's related to the Highlander.

-I can drive.~No you can't. -Yes I can. ~No, I'm almost positive there is some law preventing you from doing that.

(driving at night with sunglasses on) Gosh it's dark.

-Watch out for the scaffolding!
~Second to the right and straight on 'til-OUCH!

-He has the same eyes as Harvey Firestein.
~I'm sure he took them from him.

Captain Hook: Didst thou ever wish to be a pirate?(Nicole raises hand enthusiastically)

I love how phonics isn't spelled phonetically.

Jigga wha?

(re: selling souls on E-bay)-What ever happened to your friend?
~He died. Just up and died.
*He spontaneously combusted. I, uh, can't imagine, uh, why...
-This explains the brimstone I'm always smelling.
~No. That's just poor hygiene.

He IS an animator. He's liable to die from that.

-...and he's being contrary.
~I'm not contrary!

Stop making up real words!

The inanimate object that's been in the room for over an hour just scared you?

german men, at least blue ones, are encreadibly sexshay.

-if it were matt and I ... heck, we'd be all over the place screaming stuff out windows hehe
~hehehe that's so incredibly easy to imagine

Shani, tell me more about this Jewish off-season.

(re: fanboy radio)-It's just a whole mess of things.
~Yeah, it's like potpouri. It smells good when you're near your toilet.
-heh heh exactly...

I don't like the way that squirrel is looking at us.

If you see a squirrel foaming at the mouth in Central Park, stay away. That ain't rabies; that's withdrawal.

-Look! Rocks! Ahh! Trees!!!Ohmygosh! Poland! ~ Don't point anything else out to her...

-i'm the captain!
~ an this be a mutany. so thar!
- aye matey, i be o'rthrowin' u off this here deck!
~ don' be too certa'n 'bout that
- and why's that land lubber?
~: because I be jack sparra', and yer ain't crossed blades with my like afore. are ye sure yer up to it?
- avast! i be cap'tan blackbeard! cant ye tell by my well.. black beard?
~ aye. tha'twere the dead givaway

-Now, if they had clown hitmen, that would be terror.
~Yeah. That would be something else.

- i gotta pee too. just to let u know
~ if you ever stopped informing me, i'd worry

-Look, a lemur!
~Where?
-Right there!
~AH!! RUN AWAY!

-...how it related to a certain time...
~Like Bauhaus and boring people!

Jack- Your name's Jackie, right?
Liz- No.
Jackie- But you know MY name, right/
Jon- Shut up, Liz.

Jack, you don't need 2-d when you're living off the fat of the land.

Jon, turn on th' genirater, the Simpsons is awn.

Pigeon, pigeon, dead.

Funniest thing I've ever heard spoken in a pirate accent: "I'd stay for whatever it is, but I must see Smallville tonight."

I never thought a guy could look bad in a tux. He's proven me wrong.

-Hi, I'm Tom Hanks, and I can say whatever I want. ~It says so on this tag.

-"Master and Commander", best picture. ~You're going to hell, you know that?

Re: Sean Connery "Anything he says is hilarious!"

That night's first sighting of Johnny "the sex" Depp: "AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"(in a good way)

Christina, we should make a list of people who AREN'T on your list.

(whispered) -Shh. We'll have to use sign language. ~I don't know sign language. -SHH!

-Which is more perfect? Exact or precise? ~Precise. -No, I think exact is. ~But precise can be gauged. -Yeah, and exact is just exact. *Exactly. ~No; Precisely.

You just wanted to use the word "derived"!

LSD, kids. The gift that keeps on giving.

-You know, America doesn't do enough widdlin'. ~Ooo, whittling. -No. WIDDLIN'.

Ah! Get off the tv, you're a man!

Golden Globes:

-Was that? ~Yeah. Was it?- Jude Law. ~Yeah -Yeah ~Yeah -Yeah

Gratuitous Johnny shot!

We see you, PJ....

We saw the Lotr table!

We see you, Howard Shore....

"we're going to count to six today, mathmatics in the arts!" -chuck conwell, stage combat

I'M NOT LOUD! I'M NOT LOUD!!!

What..? 3? What? no!

I've never been compared to a pizza before.

Hail, hail Canadia.

It's snakes. It's an X. It's DNA.

Train-o strike-o stuck-o.

We should go Christmas Caroling! We could go around and sing... we have to spread the Christmas cheer! Come on, I sing bad enough by myself, but I'll sound better once I blend in with the other voices, it'll be .... Um, I'm gonna sit down now.

(A little game of Halo) -Quick, in the car! *Wow, everybody piled in, it's like the Hillbilly mobile. ~Would you shoot at the target, Bob?! -Oh great, who killed me now? ~Yahoo! Hillbilly mobile!

Anthony demonstrates what would happen if the butler in POTC was undead: " 'Ello Chump. (fall) You can't kill me (fall) I'm the (fall) skeleton butler (fall) augh! (fall) ..."

Am I the last one not dressed? Did I win the contest?

See, what I would do is work at a place that doesn't serve french fries.

My phone is suicidal.

(Amanda is writing a paper)If I won the PEW Grant, I would spend the money on ...bathing. Because they're trying to tell me something.

You're older than us. No, wait, where's the geezer.. Hey Jack! Are you older than the teacher yet?

Who didn't ante? ...Oh, it might have been me.

(Candace yelling at computer)You piece of scum! You disgrace me like no other! ~(amanda and I simultaneously)Like no other? (Candace) No Other.

He's just a Johnny Depp come lately wanna be.

We put the fun back in funeral!

-so r u famous yet?
~not yet
-i want to meet orlando bloom
~ i'm working on it
- hurry up

(To Candace)Do you want me to give you some pajama pants? (To phone) Not you.

Guitar guy, we love you!

Candace, why would you give away your blood? It's yours.

(After Pirates of the Caribbean) -Hang on, I need to absorb.. ~You've seen it 8 times! -But I need to absorb the Depp, the Deppness.. *The Depth? - The DEPTH. The Depth of this film.

-But why? Why "Tarzan"? ~Because they like showing a guy with his shirt off.

We would be the envy of ALL losers!

I'll just be a hermit. I'll still have my cell phone and I'll call you! I'll be a new-age hermit!

Yankees-Red Sox Commentator: He hasn't attempted to steal any bases this year. That of course means... he's slow.

Gonna buy her something nice? Some bling, perhaps?

I'd like to go see the Titanic- ~You can rent it now.

I like couches.

Stop cracking your gum like a slut. Who was that? (Butch raises hand. Class cracks up.) -Butch, you slut!

-Then we get into parallel dimensions... ~You're a parallel dimension.

You can go sing to the skateboarding guys again.

My lord, my lord- My CONTACT! My CONTACT!

WOOOO!!! Van Gogh RULES!

Sit in the T! The T!

Let's play "Push the Yee"!

I'm hungry. Make them!

(One man, a two-sided badminton commentary. Wow.)What is Chamblis DOING out there? "I'm not sure, but he seems to be making a drastic fashion change." Is he...I think he's turning his hat inside out. "As you can see, folks, he's bringing out the 'Rally Hat' in a desperate move to turn this game around!"

Keep go straight.

You have stars on your butt. ~How many people can say that?

Ow! This sand is soft!

Jackie-So how's the driving going?
Matt-You can't lose weight!
Me-What? .... Ok, so anyway the good news is I haven't hit anything yet...

(badminton in the dark) He keeps flipping me the bird and I can't see it!

- I know you're all anxious to party...
~We don't want to party. We want to Par-TAY!
*What?! Corey's black?!

"you are a great drawer." What kind of drawer are you? Oak or maple?

(the breakable chair.... breaks) My Baby!!!

Damagecannotbepreventedthisturn-HA!

-This is my prom dress.
*Awesome!
~I don't like it. What's with the plastic bag? And the hanger? Is that supposed to be comfortable?
*We make sacrifices for fashion, ok?

Suppose, hypothetically, there was a piece of furniture in the youth room, say a coffee table, hypothetically. Now, hypothetically, if there were hypothetically some things on the surface of this hypothetical coffee table, would this be a problem? In a strictly hypothetical situation. If you find out that there's a problem with that, just don't look under the poster under the two bibles on the hypothetical coffee table. Because, hypothetically, there might be stickers!

-They really shouldn't keep the poison right next to the powdered sugar.
~Why? That's how it is at MY house.

It's good to be the queen.

Oh yeah, "life is so boring, I just got off my trampoline." You hear that alot.

Vicarious dating: It's not just a sport, it's our national pastime.

Me: jackie is a loser
Jackie: jackie is awesome
Jackie: she inspires all
Me: yes, she is so amazing it makes me cry:-P
Jackie: awww i love her too

It's in the key of C-ish.

Foosball:
*- I'm kicking you off the team. I'll do it, I'll get a screwdriver and you're off!

*-This announcer is lost for words, because nothing is going on.

-I could have taken a bath in the sarcasm that dripped off that statement. A nasty, greasy bath, but a bath nonetheless.

(you totally had to be there for this next one, but to give you an idea...)
-If you say we're in God's image, but you believe in evolution, that means God looks like a monkey. It'd be weird if I got to Heaven and I saw this big monkey. I'd probably laugh and get sent to Hell.
~Are you saying God's a chimp?
=So the devil's a fiery chimp?

Was that the "super secret" one or the "secrety secret" one?

-These groups have to be inclusive rather than exclusive. What does that mean, Mr. O'Leary?
~It means we can't keep Garrett out of our group.
*Curse the Irishman!

It gets creepy when Matt calls Steve a "studmuffin".

We should start a band. We can call it "Scotty Don't".

It's at times like these that one wants ones mommy.

Roy C. Ketcham, where every Tuesday is Taco Tuesday.

-Hey, Cory, did you find that girl yet? ~No! And I never will!

Why are these wild accusations being thrown about like so many... grains of rice at a wedding?

It's a coincidence that everyone I talked to was in a bad mood? ~Maybe they don't like you.

You, sir, are a baboon!

Listen to Steve. He has a beard.

I'm sorry, Jesse, but that giant hole in your pants is kind of unnerving.

There's a difference between Heck and Hell. Heck is Ketcham.

Heart of the cards, heart of the cards, ... the cards suck.

We're doing "Blank Blank"? That's a great show! ~Hey, at least it doesn't say Les Mi anymore.

Garrett! Garrett, stand still!

(listening at auditions) Ow. OW. oh ow.

I don't understand Chorus-ese! What does that mean?

You can smack me all you want. It still doesn't change the fact that you smell.

-Anything could happen with that kind of foresight!~Ya, next it could rain hot gobs of pudding.

I think that we, as a nation, deserve an explanation for Britney Spears.(Dave Barry)

Thank you for not spitting in the fountain.(a sign at Pratt Institute)

Could you choke on a tictac? Of course, but I wouldn't recommend it.

-Pigeons are rats with wings. ~You're a rat with wings.-I don't have any wings.

Foolish mortals. Mwahahaha!

I'm not their child! I am Arthur, King of the Britons!

I'm a beeeUtiful princess, and I'm under a Maaagic spell.

Food is your friend.

Coinage!

-He is soooo hot!~Yeah, he is like sooo hot!=No, I would have to say he's soooo hot!-I mean it, he's soooo hot!

Ladies and gentlemen, and Garrett...

So I'm an upperclass twit, am I?

Everyone should have an arch nemesis. It's fun!